Frederick News-Post Staff
By Teresa Bell-Stockman

A toast to Medieval Times ... a dinner and show worth the 40-minute drive to Arundel Mills Mall.

Oftentimes the pageantry surpasses the meal, but not here.

We knew we would be seeing a spectacle ... galloping stallions, knights jousting and battling ... good vs. evil ...

We were hoping there would not be a battle on our plate ... boring vs. mediocre.

We were quite pleasantly surprised by the dinner, and greatly entertained by the tournament.

Firstly, this is no fly-by-night (no pun intended) operation. The attraction originated in 1973 with two complexes in Majorca and Benidorm, Spain. The first North American castle (and it really looks like a castle) opened in 1983 in Kissimmee, Fla. To date, there are nine around the country. The Maryland location opened in August 2003 with a 65,000-square-foot castle offering seating for 1,000 guests in the main tournament arena. And, they really do enjoy crowds.

We traveled back to the 11th century on a recent Thursday evening.

It was crowded.

Kids eat this stuff up with a spoon -- by the way no silverware allowed -- and there were large groups of students and families with little children -- and company office parties. This is not a romantic experience, whatever your historical fantasies.

There is cheering, lots of it ... violence ... feats of skill ... live unpredictable animals ... and I'm not talking about the guy seated next to you. They do serve alcohol here. A full-service bar is at your beck and call, as is the wench/serf assigned to your bench. But I get ahead of my tale.

The complex recreates a European-style castle with a Hall of Arms displaying medieval artifacts and weaponry, colorful coasts of arts, etc. There is also a Museum of Torture, which features reproductions of torture instruments used during the Middle Ages. Do not confuse this with the gift shop.

Upon entry and purchase of a ticket, revelers are herded into sections of the arena, designated by six color zones, to cheer for one of six Knights of the Realm representing six authentic regions of Medieval Spain. Are you keeping up with this? ie., red, blue, yellow, black and white, red and yellow, and green.

Yes, we did get lost and we did get confused. At first glimpse, the arena is certainly something to behold. It is huge and you wonder how they can fit something like this in a mall -- and then joust in it! You almost have to take a minute to take it all in. As we were taking it all in, we were cheerfully guided to our section -- red and yellow -- and our row, where our serf awaited us.

Our serf was terrific, energetic, cheering all the time and yelling at us to cheer louder for the yellow and red knight, while constantly attending to the 20 or so revelers in his row. He really wanted us all to have a good time, even if we left hoarse.

Dinner begins with King Phillipe and Princess Leonore inviting us all to share in a regal banquet celebrating peace in the land ... however, unbeknownst to them, the brave Prince has been captured by villains in the opening sequence.

We're all hungry so we feast anyway, figuring the brave Prince will turn up sooner or later.

Our drill sargeant, I mean serf, instructs us how to position our cup as to what we want poured in it ... the position of the handle is key to whether you imbibe tea, soda or water. He goes down the line, filling the cups in preparation for the toasting. We opted for unsweetened iced tea but there was plenty of brew being drunk all around, which could account for the loudest cheering.

As well as the show is choreographed and lavishly costumed, so is the dinner.

It begins with a handled bowl of creamy tomato bisque (remember no silverware) and a slice of garlic bread. Pretty standard fare, but acceptable. Hey there's a live show going on, remember. The arena is filled with thundering hooves in a spectacular display of equestrian skills and medieval pageantry. More cheering for your knight as he thunders by.

Next course -- half a roasted chicken served on a pewter platter, with a spare rib and herb basted potato. Not exactly finger food, but doable with lots of napkins. You will not leave hungry, that's for sure. The chicken was very good, moist with a crisp skin, and the spare rib was very meaty and flavorful. The potato was a potato.

My husband opted for the vegetarian menu (not sure how 11th century PC that is) but I kind of wished I had too. He waited a little bit longer than those of us who got served down the line, but his plate was alltogether spectacular.

A large, meaty Portobello mushroom, stuffed with a tasty mix of whole grain rice and beans, anchored the plate. Atop the mushroom, a large skewer of perfectly roasted vegetables added crunch and color. In addition to all that, a mound of creamy hummus filled out the selection, with an array of crisp pita chips for dipping.

He said it was the best vegetarian meal he's ever had. Who would have guessed.

As our bellies filled, we again turned our attention to the arena.

The jousting we expected. The display of weaponry and games of skill, yeah, saw that coming too. The sparks were a nice touch when the swords clashed.

But we were totally blown away by the Royal Falconer. The bird swooped low over the theater several times, returning each time to his master's fist. It was amazing to see this so close. And the trained horses were also amazing to watch, especially the dancing.

No matter how corny, it's a cool idea and totally fun to watch Knights compete on beautiful horses, exquisitely trained. Add a wonderful meal, colorful pageantry and you can truly be transported to another realm for the evening.

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